Basketball versus Baseball: The choice simplified

By David Mair, Staff Writer

With all due respect to comedian George Carlin, when it came to which sport is the best, I believe he had it all wrong.

On Wednesday, Oct. 29, two major sporting events took place: the National Basketball Association season opener and game seven of Major League Baseball’s World Series, where the San Francisco Giants beat the Kansas City Royals 3-2.

Carlin had a hilarious monologue “Baseball versus Football,” where he laid out why he believes baseball is superior to football.

With two major sporting events scheduled on the same night, I’m giving a nod to Carlin by doing my own, “Basketball versus Baseball.”

“The relationships that are built between baseball players, and the competitiveness between the line is incredible. There is nothing better,” said first-year infielder for Pacific Lutheran University’s baseball team Landon Packard.

In basketball, fans can depend on the game lasting 2.5 hours, whereas in baseball the game can last up to four hours.

In basketball, if a player is not in he sits on a bench. The thought of a bench is just lovely.

But in baseball, when a player is not in, he sits in a dugout, essentially a hole in a ground where people spit.

In basketball, when a player is under misconduct, he receives a nice card, a kind gesture from the referee.

When a player in baseball commits an offense, he’s thrown out.

In basketball, players can be seen on the sideline enjoying a refreshing glass of Gatorade.

Yet baseball players are seen leaning against the railing of the dugout chewing tobacco, a substance shown to cause cancer.

In basketball, hand signals are used sparingly, mainly when a player sinks a three his teammates make the three point goggles gestures.

Hand signals are used excessively in baseball that it looks like there’s a bug eternally flying around the face of the one doing the signals.

In basketball, the coaching staff wear suits. It’s professional — they look nice and in charge. Imagine Terry Stotts, the coach of the Portland Trail Blazers, wearing a uniform.

No one, especially his players, would take him seriously.

Baseball coaches wear the same outfit as their players, and it looks as though they were too cheap to go buy a suit and instead they grabbed a spare uniform from the locker room.

In basketball, the pace of play is quick, with points constantly being scored. The game is then exciting and entertaining, keeping fans on the edge of their seats.

Quite the opposite happens in baseball, where fans can doze off for an inning without missing anything.

America’s greatest pastime is really America’s greatest naptime. 🅼

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