Terran Warden, A&E Columnist

The American Music Awards are an annual awards show, created by Dick Clark in 1973. This year’s show was held on Nov. 23. It was highlighted by Taylor Swift’s premier performance of “Blank Space,” the new Dick Clark award for excellence presented by Diana Ross and an overly large amount of performances that carried the show to a total of 4 hours.

If you didn’t know about the show, I don’t blame you. The AMAs are not exactly relevant like the Grammy’s are. However, it became unavoidable as the AMAs had a deal with Snapchat, bringing pictures and video from the AMAs to the top of everyone’s Snapchat list.

In other news: this week, I learned how to hide promoted stories.

If you didn’t watch the show – you are lucky. Here’s my 2014 AMAs hot-or-not list that I like to call “slay or nay?”

Let me just tell you now, the slays were rare.

Taylor Swift opening the show: slay/nay. I’m so-so on this one. The performance of “Blank Space” wasn’t as bad as I expected, but I still don’t support her being against free music (Editor’s note: Taylor Swift recently removed all of her music from Spotify).

Pitbull hosting: nay. Need I say more?

Taylor Swift’s infamous dancing in the crowd, the ENTIRE time: nay. Cringe-worthy.

“Rude” performed by Magic! and Wyclef Jean: nay. Performance? More like bathroom break.

Sam Smith performing with ASAP Rocky: nay. Why would Smith be performing with ASAP Rocky?! It was a duo that just did not click, at all.

Iggy Azalea performing with Charli XCX, Mo, and Jennifer Lopez: nay. Iggy looked hot (like always) but was the most obvious lip-sync-er of the night. Painfully obvious.

Lorde performing “Yellow Flicker Beat”: slay.

Ariana Grande performing with The Weekend, Nicki Minaj, and Jessie J: slay! Even though her “sexy” moves looked completely out of character for her, her vocal talent shone through and proved why she deserves to be taken seriously.

Pitbull performing with Ne-Yo: NAY. God-awful.

Selena Gomez’s premiere performance of “What the Heart Wants”: slay! Not only did she sing great (and live, unlike Iggy) she threw giant amounts of shade at Justin Bieber — which I loved.

One Direction performing “Night Changes”: slay! One word: OMG.

Lil Wayne performing: nay!!!! Since when is Lil Wayne still relevant? Everything about this was wrong — from his voice, to his clothes, to the graphic effects…

Nicki Minaj and Skylar Grey performing “Bed of Lies”: slay. I rarely support Minaj, but in this case it was refreshing to see her do something new.

Fergie performing her brand new single “L.A. Love”: surprisingly, slay. Lyrically, the song is a joke — but Fergie proved she’s still got it!

Mary J. Blidge performing “Therapy”: nay. One of the worst things I have ever watched.

Jennifer Lopez performing “Booty”: nay. Even with Iggy accompanying her, she looked like a joke of a mother. She couldn’t hide her lip-synching to save her life.

One Direction winning Favorite Pop/Rock Band, Duo, or Group: SLAYYYY! These boys are now babes. (If you haven’t caught on, I’m a directioner at heart.)

Katy Perry and Juicy J winning Single of the Year: nay. Best part about this? Katy Perry wasn’t present to accept the award.

5 Seconds of Summer winning New Artist of the Year: slay! Their rise from nobodies to award-winners shows unbelievable growth.

Sam Smith winning Favorite Male Artist (Pop/Rock): nay. Was this a surprise to anyone?

Katy Perry winning Favorite Female Artist (Pop/Rock): nay. You’ve got to be kidding me — why are we still trying to make Katy happen? Why does everyone seem to forget all the other amazing female artists — THAT ACTUALLY HAVE TALENT? Tove Lo, BANKS, Marina and the Diamonds, Ariana Grande, Sia…

Iggy Azalea winning Favorite Album (Rap/Hip Hop) and Favorite Artist (Rap/Hip Hop): slay for her, nay for everyone else. Let’s stop pretending she actually has any talent.

ONE DIRECTION WINNING ARTIST OF THE YEAR: SLAY!!!! I have to mention, they looked so gorgeous when they accepted their 3 awards. (Zayn styled his hair just like I was wishing for!)

If you haven’t noticed, a majority of the artists weren’t even from America — One Direction, Iggy Azalea, Lorde — once again questioning the relevance of this show.

Overall, the American Music Awards are a show I wished I didn’t watch. I will NOT be tuning in next year — unless Lady Gaga returns.

In other news:

Bette Midler and Ariana Grande are feuding after Midler said Grande looks “ridiculous” sexing herself up for fame. As you read before, I agree that Grande looked ridiculous.

Lady Gaga ended her artRAVE world tour in Paris Monday night with a Yahoo! Live Stream that broke records as the most viewed livestream ever – receiving more views than this year’s VMAs and AMAs.

Garth Brooks cancelled his concerts after the Grand Jury decision in Ferguson, Missouri, saying that performing during protests felt wrong.

Tila Tequila revealed pictures of her daughter, Isabella Monroe — breastfeeding pictures. Let’s be honest, with Tila Tequila as her mother, this kid doesn’t stand a chance.

Miley Cyrus celebrated her twenty-second birthday, much calmer than her last birthday. This year, no penis cake. ◼︎

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