Valentine’s Day is one of the best holidays; everything is pink, red and full of love and hope.

This Valentine’s Day, every mom in America is happy because “50 Shades of Grey” is coming to theaters and they can leave their husbands with the kids and go enjoy their “mommy porn.”

“50 Shades” is not only a mommy’s guilty pleasure, but a college girl’s too. After the book first became popular, girls fled to the mall to buy a copy and I’m sure many men went after them to find out what their partners were reading and why they all wanted their men to dress in a new style or talk to them with a different tone. I would know, I’m guilty of the same thing.

This year, for Feb. 14, I’m taking my date to see “50 Shades” and I fully expect the theater to be full of moms waiting to see the main characters take their clothes off. However, I’m also hoping there is a learning experience that will come to my date after watching this drool-worthy movie.

Women want “it” too, “it” just might look different

Women and men both want sex, it is 2015 after all, I’m allowed to say that now. However, the way we show it and the way we ask for it is a bit different. In “50 Shades,” the woman is just as empowered as the man but she never shows how much the sexual desire is reciprocated, it just is. On the other side, he is full of that desire and shows it in the way she wants him to – hence, lesson number one. “50 Shades” can show you how to want a woman and tell her that without being completely creepy.

Intentionality

Christian Grey, the main male character, is always in control. He wants to be with a woman, and he makes his desires known, but respects boundaries and puts her needs before himself.

In the story, he tries to challenge himself and never takes anything he doesn’t want. His intentions are clear. That is something most women wants – a man who is straight forward and does everything because he wants to and works for it.

Complete partner vulnerability

The willingness to be vulnerable is something every relationship needs to survive. Keeping walls up between partners is just another way of saying “I don’t trust you.” In “50 Shades,” both characters have secrets and are uncomfortable with certain aspects of relationships and their bodies, however, they make those vulnerabilities known and they allow their partner to try and move past them with as much comfort as possible.

This is not only a lesson for men, but also for women: allow yourself to be truthful and vulnerable to your partner because that is how real love and trust is built.
It may be slightly silly to take real relationship advice from a book about sex and steamy elevator kisses, however this book has sold more than one hundred million copies. Clearly, they’re doing something right.

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Samantha Lund was the Editor in Chief at The Mast, a student-run newsroom within Pacific Lutheran University, in 2015-16. Lund created Mast Magazine in 2015 to give students a forum for long form news pieces. She could be found writing for Pacific Lutheran University's Marketing and Communication site plu.edu or interning at MOViN 92.9's morning talk show in Seattle. Other places to find her content include: Alaska Airlines blog and website, The News Tribune and The Bremerton Harald.