The weekly, anonymous “Let’s talk about sex” series will look into a different topic about sex and sexuality in an effort to raise awareness, bring education and be a forum for discussion. To write in and share your opinions and stories, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
It is no secret that Pacific Lutheran University is short on male students. We boast a proud 67 percent female to male ratio, meaning that the dating pool for heterosexual women is … well, rather disappointing. This proportion makes it nearly impossible for straight women to go out with men who have not already gone out with at least a few other lady Lutes.
Enter: Eskimo Sisters. For the purposes of this article, please ignore the fact that the term “Eskimo” is not politically correct. My deepest sympathies to the First Nations, Yupik and Inuit populations who were once labeled as such.
According to Urban Dictionary, Eskimo Sisters (ES) are defined as two women who have slept with the same man. I recently found out that an acquaintance of mine and myself fit that criteria. At first, I thought that discussing the matter with her would be just about the most awkward thing I could imagine. Instead, the situation has brought us even closer together, and she and I are now great friends.
This took a few open conversations, but we learned that there was no reason to feel anything but kinship between us. Neither of us care that he was sleeping with multiple people, both of us included, nor were we jealous of the other girl’s relations with the man. On the contrary, we found it kind of hilarious. We were able to discuss some of the guy’s signature “moves” and figure out what attracted both of us to him in the first place.
“It’s hard to break the ice, but I’m not about the elephant in the room. I don’t want to sit there with one of us not knowing or both of us not wanting to talk about it,” said my ES. “If I want to retain a friendship and good vibes with the person, I want to make sure that none of us are jealous or angry or that any of us are feeling weird emotions.”
We have since had many conversations that led us to our similar interests that fall outside of our relations with our mutual guy friend. “I felt like I needed to talk to you. I wanted to remain friends with you, so I felt that we had to bring it up,” she added.
One of the easiest ways that we were able to connect was through our mutual beliefs about sleeping with someone in the first place. “We both understand that sex does not have to equal love and that love does not have to equal sex,” said my ES. “I really like talking about it with people who understand the importance of honesty. We can just communicate and use ‘girl language’ to talk, and it feels good.”
“I’m really glad that I have an Eskimo Sister. It makes me really happy to have you specifically because I am comforted about my experiences,” she added. It was relieving to be able to discuss what we enjoyed and didn’t enjoy.
Our similarities as friends translated into our mutual interest in a man. I understand that not all ES relationships may be like this one, but I am here to tell you that meeting somebody who has shared a partner is not the end of the world.