Satire: the door-droppers

JULIA GROSVENOR; Opinion Writer; grosvejm@plu.edu

A group of concerned students is leading a mission to fix the problem of declining door etiquette on campus.

Calling themselves the Committee for Courteous Lutes, the group first met last Tuesday afternoon in Anderson University Center to discuss what they believe to be a growing crisis of human decency on campus.

Members of the committee shared stories of fellow residents neglecting to hold doors open for them, despite their opinion that such behavior is crucial to the reputation of the school.

While there are no existing official requirements for doors to be held open around campus, students such as senior Raheem Muher argue that many rules for behavior are a matter of unspoken understanding.

“Sure, it doesn’t say in the student handbook you can’t pee in the bathroom sink. But my RA would not allow it,” Muher said.

Anndria Benson, a sophomore at PLU, said this may be her last semester at PLU if the problem is not solved soon. Benson explained that, despite high tuition costs, it was the exceptional amount of door holding behavior she experienced at a Lute Overnight when she was a prospective student that convinced her to enroll.

“I have weak arms,” Benson said. “If I have to keep pulling heavy doors open, I’d rather get a degree online.”

However, holding open doors may not be the ideal campus habit. In the cases of resident halls and other entrances requiring Lute Card swipe access, holding open doors for any passerby could lead to security issues.

Mast Media reporters surveyed students who were witnessed letting doors close behind them. However, it was hard to catch up to most of them because Lute Cards have a known tendency to be in the least convenient place when they are needed for swiping in.

When asked if they had intentionally left without holding the door open in order to protect the safety of residents, an anonymous student from Ordal Hall said “What?” and continued on their way without actually waiting for the reporter to say anything in response.

It was kind of rude.

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