Henry Kissinger Satire

Elder statesman Henry Kissinger, who was never tried or convicted of anything, died on Nov. 29 at the age of 100. While communists and enemies of the state cheer this...

PLU Freezes Hot and Heavy Student Body With Fire Safety Checks

A night of intimate alone time featured blaring alarms and the sweet sounds of knocking doors interwoven with the sensual whisper “RA on duty.” The quintessential moments of Valentine's Day,...

PLU considers new ‘luxury’ student expenses

Business students will be impressed by profit raising changes in the works for student accommodations all over campus. If put into effect, these changes will have students giving out...

PLU hosts the ‘Grammys’

JULIA GROSVENOR Satirist grosvejm@plu.edu It is a little known fact that long before the Grammy Awards became televised in the 1950s, Pacific Lutheran University created an award of the same name, in...

Satire: 7 simple ways to save the planet

JULIA GROSEVENOR; Opinion Writer: grosvejm@plu.edu Take a reusable bag to OMM It’s that time of year when everyone either has way too many dining dollars or they just restocked after guilting their parents...

Warning: Satire at play: Science reveals the best running mate for each presidential hopeful

JULIA GROSVENOR; Satirist: grosvej@plu.edu Now that the primaries are ending, it’s time for the winners to announce who their choice for vice president is going to be. Apparently science has the answer. At...

Warning satire at play: Finals no longer horrible for just college students

JULIA GROSVENOR; Satirist: grosvejm@plu.edu Here at Pacific Lutheran University, students pretty much accept that life will be horrible until the end of May. However, Biological Anthropology professor Marcella Piaazo has noticed a...

Satirical summer news recap: two truths and a lie

JULIA GROSVENOR; Opinion Writer; grosvejm@plu.edu This summer’s news was a huge joke. Honestly, if the world keeps this up, we won’t even need a satire section anymore. Don’t believe me?...

Students’ Reactions to the Tent’s Removal are a Mixed Bag

Natalie Elskamp Staff Reporter This article is intended to be satirical. Names and quotes have been fabricated and do not represent actual people. The tent above Red Square was removed mere weeks...